Arsenal New Signing Bolocse Van Twinkletoe: Can't Wait For New Season

Arsenal's new signing, Bolocse Van Twinkletoe, was at London Colney today to look at the training facilities. The attacking midfielder, who can also play wide was impressed with the facilities at London Colney.

Asked about his impression of the club so far, Bolocse said;

"The facilities here are top class. Mikel Arteta and Ignasi Miquel have been showing me around the training ground and the Emirates Stadium. I have really liked what they have showed me so far. I can't wait to meet my Arsenal team-mates and for the season to begin. I will give 100% for Arsenal in every game and I hope that the fans will support me"

Meanwhile, Arsenal Vice-Captain, Thomas Vermaelen is excited that Arsenal have captured the signature of Bolocse;

"Bolocse is a very great player. He is very quick, very talented with the ball, he can shoot, he can take excellent free kicks and he can score many goals for Arsenal. We have been criticised for being too reliant on Robin (Van Persie) to score goals for us, but with Bolocse joining our team, I think he shall score a lot of goals and also create a lot of goals for others to score"

Arsenal are expected to make an official announcement on their website in the coming days about the signing of Bolocse Van Twinkletoe in a long term contract for an undisclosed fee.

The attacking midfielder, who also plays as a winger has been compared to Ronaldinho in his prime.

"He is very strong on the ball, very quick and is a trickster and entertainer. The crowds will love to watch him. He reminds me of a young Ronaldinho. But he is quicker and can shoot very well on both feet" said Arsenal left back Andre Santos.

We can't wait to see Bolocse Van Twinkletoe in action for Arsenal. 

Hazard to Chelsea: Arsenal To Sign Bolocse Van Twinkletoe

I read a funny retweet by Tim Stillman where @1burnm says;

Hey, everyone keeps buying the really good players we are supposed to buy! Stop it, other clubs!  Stop paying them more money and stuff!

Now, I take it this is a joke, but then again I know there are some Arsenal fans who are going really mental that we are not signing any players.

People are already getting their knickers in a twist over Eden Hazard who is set to join Chelsea, Shinji Kagawa who is rumoured for United, Yann M'vila  who hasn't been signed by Arsenal and could be scooped up by our rivals.

Now, much as I yearn for signings, I appreciate it is still early days yet and some leagues have not officially ended. To start criticising Arsene Wenger and Arsenal for not signing Hazard, who is quite clearly a cunt, evidenced his choice of destination, is honestly very premature at this stage of the close season.

There are hundreds of players out there who could improve our team, most of them are unknown to us. I think the key thing for Arsenal in the coming weeks is to sort out the Robin Van Persie situation in order to avoid mistakes of seasons past. The fact that Van Persie has not signed a new contract by now and being the club captain seriously undermines the club and it's preparations for next season. We have bought Podolski, lets get another striker and creative midfielder and I think we are ok. But there is still plenty of time  to do deals. Lets marvel at the amount of money other clubs are spending  on players but equally applaud their stupidity.

The media is going to the bank by replicating speculation that any moron with internet access can generate. I could tweet that Arsenal will sign Bolocse Van Twinkletoe. Some journalist in another part of the world whose sole duty is to monitor the web for new stories will pick up on this story and in no time, every tabloid, column inch, tweet, Arsenal fan site will go viral with the signing of Bolocse Van Twinkletoe.

And to make matters worse, Bolocse Van Twinkleto may have given an interview five years ago, wherein he was asked what he thinks about the Arsenal style of play and he said he found it very attractive. The media will quote those words in the "breaking news story" about how Bolocse Van Twinkletoe will be signed by Arsenal. When the deal doesn't go through, they could always claim it was because Arsene Wenger and Arsenal are misers.

Don't pay much attention to the rumours. Also bear in mind that any player who chooses not to join Arsenal is a cunt and we are probably better off without them.

             

Where Will Van Persie Go?

With the Euro 2012 competition once more upon us, this will prove to be a frustrating summer for making new signings.

Firstly, clubs and players themselves will want to use the tournament to up their stock and place themselves in full view of potential suitors. Both club and players want to make as much money from any transfer deal; players therefore wait for the Euro tournament and hope that they will play out of their skin and thereby command higher wages in the transfer market.

 A classic example of this was Andrei Arshavin who was the most outstanding player at Euro 2008. He became the most desired attacking player that year. He would have ended up at Barcelona but for, I suspect, not fitting into their team.

I love Arsenal. I love every Arsenal player until they leave the club. Depending on the manner of departure from the club, I might carry on respecting the player, otherwise they all become "cunt" as far as I'm concerned. A classic example is Emmanuel Adebayor.

This summer, Robin Van Persie, Theo Walcott and Alex Song are the key players whose contracts are up for renewal. If they don't sign, then it's imperative that they be sold and the money be used to buy new players. Now, of those three, I think Van Persie would be the biggest loss were he to leave the club this summer.

I am very worried that he has not signed a new contract by now. Previous comparable scenarios have proved that you cannot rely on a player's "love" for the Arsenal to stay. We have seen with Fabregas, Nasri, Flamini, Henry and Vieira that once a player gets to the final year of his contract, chances are that he will leave.

Yes the circumstances were different in each case, but the principle remains the same. Players and coaches normally extend their contracts 24 months prior to expiry. Any player who runs down their contract to the final year does so to facilitate a move elsewhere.

Now, Love them or hate them, Ca$hly Cole, Fabregas, Nasri, Clichy, Henry, Vieira and Flamini have all won trophies since leaving Arsenal. And this is the painfual truth facing our stars. Arsene Wenger was very confident that none of the above-listed players would leave... we all know what happened there. That is why I am not holding my breathe over the Van Persie issue.

Which brings us to the point of this blog; Where Will Van Persie Go? For a player like Van Persie, I suppose the most likely destinations would be (not necessary in this order) Barcelona, Real Madrid, AC Milan, Inter Milan, Bayern Munich and Manchester City.

I do not see him fitting into the Barcelona team as they have an embarrassing abundance of striking talent. I don't see him fitting into a Real Madrid team with Ronaldo, Higuain, Benzema, Kaka and getting along with Jose Mourinho. I expect Didier Drogba to end up at Real Madrid this summer. Manchester City would be the ultimate betrayal.

 Bayern Munich on the other hand are an established team with some very potent wingers in Ribery and Robben. Their style of play and the entire style of football in the Bundesliga is similar to Arsenal and the Premier League. A player like Van Persie would thrive at Bayern  Munich alongsde Gomez. But do Bayern really want Van Persie?

That narrows it down to the Italian clubs. AC Milan are an ageing team and will be looking to rebuild their team. The same can be said for Inter Milan. With Italian football having fallen so far behind English, Spanish and German Football, would a player like Van Persie want to go that far down?

Arsenal have just signed a very good striker in Lucas Podolski. I think if we make one very good signing in midfield, suddenly this Arsenal team starts to look competitive...

Perhaps there is hope for Arsenal retaining Van Persie...

Still Here

Apologies to my readers for being away from the blog for so long.

My mother-in-law finally succumbed to liver cancer on thursday 10th May 2012, aged just 51. My wife and I have been living with her the last few months. It has been tough looking after her and also being there for my wife. It is a terrible thing seeing somebody you know and love dying slowly and there is nothing you can do about it.

This might sound cruel, but I am glad she has passed on. The pain she has been living with over the past few months was too much. No human being should have to suffer such pain, but such is the way of life. We see people dying very gruesome deaths every day and sometimes you wonder if there is a God...

May Your Soul Rest In Peace Florence Mosirizo Mosheti Matengu.
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Back tomorrow with a round up of matters that have happened since I posted and more.

Podolski Confirmed; Looking Up The Arsenal

Arsenal have never announced an end-of -season signing before the season actually ends...

Not so with the signing of Lukas Podolski from FC Cologne. I am a big admirer of the German striker. His statistics for German and Club are quite impressive.

You can read about the German striker here.

Whereas many are fearing that his signing might be a replacement for the imminent departure of Van Persie, I join the chorus of those who say that he is a genuine addition to the team. But herein lies the beauty with signing him so early before the Euros;
1. His price was very likely going to go through the roof after a successful Euro tournament.
2. If this signing does not convince Robin Van Persie that the club are serious about winning trophies, then nothing else will convince him to sign a new deal this summer.
3. If Van Persie does decide to leave Arsenal, Podolski is a very decent replacement, but crucially, the club have time to make other signings to form a new team for next season.

For me, the signing of Podolski is a statement of intent from Arsenal. For several seasons the club have been farting and farfing around each summer while we lost great players. I genuinely believe that this summer, our business will be concluded before the Euros.

So which areas need strengthening?   Clearly our defence is more that Adequate with Vermaelen, Koscielny, Metersacker, Djourou, Miquel and Song who can play in there. It is the midfield that needs strengthening.

Abou Diaby, must surely be seeing this coming season as his last chance at saving his career. It is very sad indeed, but I fear that he might have to call time on his career if his injuries persist. I really like Diaby and would love for him to go through an entire season , let alone 10 games straight without a knock. Unfortunately, the damage was done to his ankle and now we see the consequences.

Jack Wilshere should be fit next season but for me he can't do a job in midfield the entire season. Aaron Ramsey is a more than decent midfielder, but we really lack something in our engine room. I hate to admit, but we need a Fabregas type player in there.

But lets wait ad see.

We have two games remaining, let's get the 6 points we need for 3rd place and then we can all have a good end of season and look forward to the next season.

COYG!!!
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@the_afrogunner on twitter